You

 Well. We have each other. But will you betray my faith?
I guess you will. I suppose you will. But I hope you won't.
  It's a strange feeling. This whole betrayal thing. But it
did trap me inside , somehow. I feel as if I were trapped
in a strange cage , that allows me to touch the world
around me , but that makes it impossible for me to
actually connect with it , entirely.
  And i have a key for this cage. To open it. And I
don't even know if it's the right key , or if it's a fake
because I am too afraid to try.
  I had a dream last night. And it expressed so well
the way I feel , that I ended up crying . It's exhausting.
To keep thinking and thinking and thinking and not
finding the wrong thing you are doing and not knowing
whose fault is it. Yours or theirs?
  I realised I miss school. But not because I miss learning.
But because the cage seems to get bigger when I'm
in school. I can almost connect to the world. ALMOST.
  
  And now I'm in await for a miracle. And it's so strange.
My hopes are definetly overcoming any possible truth,
but I keep hoping. Stupid me. Foolish me.
  Why do I keep seeing nice things and nice people and...
where actually there aren't such things?
   Does love exist? And I'm not talking about the love
as " they found each other , they fell for each other ,
married and lived happily ever after " . I'm talking
about love between friends and people. About being
able to care about somebody even though it's not
a relative or a friend. About caring and loving your
place on this world not just for yourself.
   We are so egocentric. So damn egocentric. We only
think about ourselves . And maybe that's why I am
so dissapointed. Because I tried to show the world
some love , the little I could offer and the world
showed me nothing but hate and misundertanding.
  It's bad to be good. It's bad to feel. It's bad to love.
   I can only hope for someone to share my dreams.
the bad part is that I have already chosen that
person and I don't know if I will be chosen back.
It always happens like that.
    Now , I am leaving. I refuse to speak to the
world. I am going somewhere away , where
no one could find me. But I am sure no one would
even try as my phone never rings in summer.
    Goodbye. I hope to write again with happier
thoughts...

Myriam Lacroche