You

 Well. We have each other. But will you betray my faith?
I guess you will. I suppose you will. But I hope you won't.
  It's a strange feeling. This whole betrayal thing. But it
did trap me inside , somehow. I feel as if I were trapped
in a strange cage , that allows me to touch the world
around me , but that makes it impossible for me to
actually connect with it , entirely.
  And i have a key for this cage. To open it. And I
don't even know if it's the right key , or if it's a fake
because I am too afraid to try.
  I had a dream last night. And it expressed so well
the way I feel , that I ended up crying . It's exhausting.
To keep thinking and thinking and thinking and not
finding the wrong thing you are doing and not knowing
whose fault is it. Yours or theirs?
  I realised I miss school. But not because I miss learning.
But because the cage seems to get bigger when I'm
in school. I can almost connect to the world. ALMOST.
  
  And now I'm in await for a miracle. And it's so strange.
My hopes are definetly overcoming any possible truth,
but I keep hoping. Stupid me. Foolish me.
  Why do I keep seeing nice things and nice people and...
where actually there aren't such things?
   Does love exist? And I'm not talking about the love
as " they found each other , they fell for each other ,
married and lived happily ever after " . I'm talking
about love between friends and people. About being
able to care about somebody even though it's not
a relative or a friend. About caring and loving your
place on this world not just for yourself.
   We are so egocentric. So damn egocentric. We only
think about ourselves . And maybe that's why I am
so dissapointed. Because I tried to show the world
some love , the little I could offer and the world
showed me nothing but hate and misundertanding.
  It's bad to be good. It's bad to feel. It's bad to love.
   I can only hope for someone to share my dreams.
the bad part is that I have already chosen that
person and I don't know if I will be chosen back.
It always happens like that.
    Now , I am leaving. I refuse to speak to the
world. I am going somewhere away , where
no one could find me. But I am sure no one would
even try as my phone never rings in summer.
    Goodbye. I hope to write again with happier
thoughts...

Myriam Lacroche
   

Things.

Actually things are right. the cards are now shown. but i hoped for some other cards. for some bitter luck. And it never showed up even though i did my best to overcome the hard part. i'm not precious to you but you are to me.

Betrayal

 what does this word mean?
 Well. let's see. when usually a woman talks about
betrayal people generally suppose a man must
be involved too.
  For me it's not.
  It has never been.
  But.
  I feel betrayal . I feel betrayed. I feel as if I gave
my soul to someone and that person has other
souls to handle and has left mine behind.
  I feel left behind. I would beg for some attention.
  Because i can't seem to find what i am seeking for.
 And.... The betrayers find it. Without me. And that
is why I feel betrayed.
  It's stupid isn't it?
  At least , it looks stupid. I might not have the gift
of talking . I might not be pretty. I might not have
done a great job dumping a great guy. But how
guilty am I?
   I feel guilt. I feel the guilt of the entire planet.
And no one feels my guilt. I bare the sins of the
universe but i refuse to weigh mine.
  I am scared that one day i will wake up alone.
  I am afraid i will be betrayed continously.
  I fear the fact that the bearer of my soul will
always leave it behind.
  I fear the fact that i will never know the real
weight of my sin , and that i will always  believe
it's bigger than it really is.
   I feel that the whole world can't understand me.
Why , oh why , big world , why don't you understand?
  Why don't you take my happiness forever?
  I am done with being happy for a second and waking
up for the following minute to realise my happiness
was an illussion.
   Why do i feel betrayed?
   By the world , the sky , the sea , the rain , the trees,
why do they all betray me?
   Why am I the only chosen?
    I keep hoping there must be another person in
my situation. And when we'll meet we'll forget
the betrayal of the others and focus on ourselves.
    There is only one person who could never
betray me. And there is no longer the person who
never did. I love them both. I still do.  And if i
can wish anything is that one day we'll meet again
to apologise to the ones who never betrayed me and
whom i betrayed.
      Why do people invent so many things?
      Technology is meant to make you suffer.
     It's meant to make you feel small , cheap,
and left behind. The world is going on without you,
but you can't stop it. Technology can show you how
much you mean to people. And usually you will be
dissapointed , because you'll realise that you don't
mean that much to that person...
   It's a matter of development.
  You have to step on others' bodies to make your
own way.


Myriam Lacroche

Euphoria

 e vara.
E perfect,
e 16 iulie.
e .. de toate dom'le.
De ce euphoria? Plec la mare. And i am euphoric:D
Ma rog. euhoric e putin spus. Mi am luat haine
ca orice fata care se respecta ( abia astept sa le si port ;)) )
Si nush ma simt de parca ma duc la new york. ( si de aia
am pus o poza cu new york-ul. plus ca exprima viata aia
care e la mare . Furnicarul care nu doarme niciodata. Lume
care se alearga pe plaja , danseaza in club , priveste rasaritul...)
Ma incanta ideea asta.
Mai am un motiv pentru euforia asta exacerbata.
E tabara, si n am mai fost intr o tabara de multi ani. Eram
clasa a 4a si a fost prea tare pentru clasa a 4a . Acum sunt
aproape a 10 a:D Si o sa fie prea tare pentru aproape a 10 a.
Totusi ma. E costinesti. :D
If you want to have fun come to the only place for youngsters,
Costinesti:>.
E costinesti. si n am de gand sa dorm.
Chiar daca n-am o companie prea placuta :-".
Nu ca m-ar deranja ca am fi toti aproape a 10 a.
( ma rog , ma deranjeaza asa putin de tot. Da putin.:D
Pentru ca daca noi fetele eram aproape a 10 a si ei
aproape a 12 a , ar fi fost mai ok:D Asta inteleg
eu prin companie nu prea placuta. Dar nu vreau sa-mi
jignesc colegii de grupa , cu atat mai putin colegele.)
O sa fie atata de tare:X. Mai sunt4 zile,
Of.
Cand am scris 4 numarand mi-am dat seama ce repede
a trecut timpu. eu tot mai vedeam ca mai e mult.
Da acu m a izbit. Mai e putin de tot.
Da putin. O doamne.
Nu mi-am calcat hainele , nu am trimis formularul
la cea de a 2a tabara.:-<>zic de o saptamana.).
  M-am mandrit? Nu prea cred.merg in 2 tabere,
pentru ca am aplicat la inca una in august si am
fost primita.:D Antreprenoriat , sponsorizata de
comisia europeana ( eu nu dau decat 800 de mii:D),
traineri draguti:-" si buni as preciza , dar evident
ca nu pentru asta ma duc eu acolo. Prefaceti-va ca nu
am scris asa ceva.
  Azi m-am pregatit un pic de plecare ( wax&wax&wax).
 si m am si tuns.:) e dragut. SSta creeeeeeet. si de la
apa sarata o sa fie si mai cret dragul de el:). m am gandit
si cum il aranjez:D Cred ca urmatorul lucru pe care
il fac e sa mi aduc geamantanul si sa l fac si sa l desfac
pana plec. Mai e asa de putin...
 Acu vreo 2 ore ma gandeam... daca mi se face dor de casa?
Casa insemnand tv , mess & pushu. Am zis pushu ok,
dar pot sa renunt o saptamana la tv& mess pentru
tineretului:D Si pentru obelisk :D si pentru epava:).
  doamne:D Deja devin obsedanta si obsedata nu?
  Mai tre sa fac ceva gen oscar acu in final.
  Sa multumesc prietenilor mei care m-au fericit
toata vacanta si nu mi au dat motive de depresie
deloc da deloc de tot:D
  O sa incep cu Deea , pentru ca azi m -a scos dintr-o
mare incurcatura de la mare:D E la mamaie:D Si
ploua si sta pe o terasa si bea suc si se gandeste la
mine. si cand o sa citeasca ea blogu asta , adica ori luni
ori marti cand se intoarce ea acasa si eu plec ,  vreau
sa stie ca o iubesc mult si ca i multumesc asa in stil de
oscar:).
   Apoi ana. adica pardon bebe marin. ( a fost la mare
si asa a devenit bebelusu submarin) . Si pe tine te iubesc
pentru ca pe langa faptu ca esti adorabila esti adorabila.
Numai tu poti sa dai anumite mesaje cui nu trebuie ( da
chiar nu trebuie :)) ) si sa zici tampenii si sa porti tricoul
pe care l-ai primit cadou de la paris hilton insasi cu i'm
hot you're not :>  Te iubesc bebe. si tie iti multumesc
in stil golden globe.
   Si Bunny'S.:D no sa ti zic numele ca sa nu te fac de ras.
Da tu bunny meu , esti cea mai sincera si neintersata
persoana ( uneori nu inteleg cum poti fi asa de maica
domnului). Folks , si-a luat mancarea de la gura sa o dea
la cersetori , ar fi fost in stare sa piarda ultima masina
care sa o scoata dintr-o urbe indepartata si naspa :P
( de aia nu vii prea des ) ca sa dea de mancare la un
cutu flamand. Si in rest? in rest o trasnesc idei nebune
si radem de ele. ( cum ar fi ca am vreo 3 bai la acelasi
etaj una langa alta , iar dormitorul parintilor undeva pe
balcon :D ) . De ce bunny'S? Stii tu pentru ce e S-ul.
Daca nu ma insel in engleza asta i pentru a arata posesia.
cui asupra cui. Ramane de vazut. Te iubesc si pe tine
dar tie iti acors zmeura de aur. si iti mai dau si serbetul
 de aur. Sa l posezi cu placere:))

  Zmeura pe care o imparti cu Ina:-". Am auzit eu ca
ii place cum suna si asa am de gand sa i zic de-acu incolo,
of course not face to face , caci face to face nu o sa ma pot
abtine niciodata sa-i zic " bai ...ina":D . si ea sa ridice
magica spranceana , mai nou foarte dragut pensata.:)
Tu esti una dintre cele mai sexy persoane pe care le-am
cunoscut:D si iti spun asta de multa vreeeeme. Inca de cand
edi isi culca capul obosit la pieptul meu , daca intelegi tu
ce vreau sa spun , dar sigur intelegi. Tu, imparti
zmeura de aur cu bunny, cu toate ca ar trebui sa o ai singura
pentru ca faci cele mai mari gafe ever:D . Tot tu trebuie sa
mai primesti ceva stil oscar:) premiul pentru sexiest woman
alive.:) daca te uiti cu atentie pe wikipedia:> o sa vezi ce femei
au mai fost.:> te iubesc si pe tine. A da si pe andrei draga , sa
nu-l uit pe andrei. Il iubesc mult. :D

    si toate sunteti acolo pe langa locu 1. :)) Sunteti un pic
mai in fata de 1. de aia sutneit pe langa ;)) .
 si acu ca am terminat cu oscarul ce pot sa mai zic? Ma duc
sa incep sa sortez totusi hainele ca vine sambata acu si
n am mai nimic calcat si habar nu am ce o sa iau la mine
in afara de 2 rochii si perechea noua de sandale:D

   Si te asteptai tu ina safaca myriam vrodata asa ceva cand
ai descoperit o?:)
   Si voi restul nu va asteptati oricum:D da eu va iubesc.
  PLEC  LA MARE!!!!
   la costinesti. si o sa mi fie dor de push, da cred ca ma
descurc:)

 Pa:D
 Le mer... Ah le mer.

Myriam Lacroche.